Love,Courtship Breakup and Moving on from the breakup.



What is love?

Everybody needs love sometimes you know. Love is when you don’t want to wake up because the reality is better. Love is when you can’t stop thinking about a person and every time you do, your face lifts up. Love is when you got that person who you are sure has your back and is the last person you think of before you sleep and the first person you think when you wake refers to a feeling of strong attraction and emotional attachment. Scientific research on emotion has increased significantly over the past two decades. This diversity of uses and meanings combined with the complexity of the feelings involved makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, compared to other emotional states. Love is considered to be a positive and negative: with its advantage representing human kindness, compassion, and affection, as "the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another It may also describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one's self or animals. In its various forms, love acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts. Love has been postulated to be a function to keep human beings together against menaces and to facilitate the continuation of the species.

Why Relationships Matter

Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. There are many kinds of love, but many people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner (or partners). I honestly believe that everyone has their special someone somewhere in this world.
For many, romantic relationships comprise one of the most meaningful aspects of life, providing a source of deep fulfillment. The need for human connection appears to be innate but the ability to form healthy, loving relationships is learned. Finding someone who loves you with all your flaws is not easy and once you get them you don`t want to lose them.
Some evidence suggests that the ability to form a stable relationship starts to form in infancy, in a child's earliest experiences with a caregiver who reliably meets the infant's needs for food, care, warmth, protection, stimulation, and social contact. Such relationships are not destiny, but they are theorized to establish deeply ingrained patterns of relating to others. For you to love, you must love yourself first and that is why charity begins at home. You cannot be able to show others love if you did not grow with it or have not experienced it in any way,
Failed relationships happen for many reasons, and the failure of a relationship is often a source of great psychological anguish. Most people have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make relationships endure and flourish. A child from a divorced family will have a hard time building a relationship compared to a child who grew up in a complete family.

How to Build a Healthy Relationship?

Strong relationships are continually nurtured with care and communication. Although relationships can take many forms, certain traits have been shown to be especially important for healthy relationships.
Each individual should, for starters, feel confident that their partner is willing to devote time and attention to the other. They must both also be committed to accommodating the differences and challenges that inevitably emerge.
In the 21st century, good relationships are generally marked by a sense of fairness, emotional as well as physical particularly in the distribution of chores necessary to maintain a household. Partners in strong relationships also feel grateful for one another, openly provide and receive affection, and engage in honest discussions about sex.
In good relationships, partners try to afford their partner the benefit of the doubt, which creates a sense of being on the same team in life. That feeling, maintained over the long term, can help couples overcome many difficulties.

How to Find Love

Finding a partner with whom to share a life is a wonderful—yet sometimes difficult—process. Whether it's conducted online or in-person, the search will likely push an individual into unfamiliar settings to encounter potential partners. In order to be successful, it is often necessary to go outside one's comfort zone.
It is not easy to find love in this mad world. Finding a person who will give you a shoulder to lean on and wipe your tears is a gift. Loving someone with all their faults and finding a way to accept them takes a lot. Loving a person is not just the good things about them but also their imperfections.
Dating is a process by which people spend time with others in order to gradually determine whether a particular person is suitable as a potential mate. Determining whether a connection reflects temporary infatuation or true love can sometimes be challenging, but research suggests that there are revealing clues in behavior. For people to date, the chemistry has to be there in order for them to have a connection which may later lead to a long term relationship or even marriage.

Are you the one?

One possibly evident indicator of a potential match is one's sense of self. Someone who would make a good partner may push an individual to discover new activities or beliefs that expand their self-concept. Another early signifier may be stress: Repeatedly interacting with someone whose impression matters deeply to someone can fuel anxiety. When am personally looking for a person to date, I will look for someone who believes in me. Someone who wants to be part and parcel of my achievements. someone who will not tear me down but rather lift me up. Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."
Other indicators include being highly motivated to see the person and investing a significant amount of time, emotion, and energy into the budding relationship. As you look for a partner, you also look for someone who makes you a better person. Someone who makes you love the person you become when you are with them. Courting someone is a real investment. Talk about time, emotions and money.

Breaking up

Sometimes love is just not enough. You come into a realization that you both want different things in life. That your dreams are different and your careers are taking you into different paths. You want to travel the world but your partner wants you to stay at home so that you can start a family together. For some, it is possible to do so but to others, the sacrifice is way too big. When the relationship is at this point, then it’s on rocks and there is a probability that it will survive but the greater chance is the two parting ways.
Breaking up with someone you love is never easy. Letting go of the one you love — especially after weeks, months or even years of accumulating treasured memories — can feel like tearing yourself in two.
But the positive side of breakups is that learning how to move on also gives you an opportunity to learn about yourself as you heal your broken heart.
People have suffered from broken hearts since pretty much the beginning of time. You can still love them, want good things for them but still move on without them. Sometimes we tend to look so much at the closed door that we forget to see the opened window. It is nice to forget what you don’t have any more but rather focus on what is left and what is yet to come your way.
Sometimes one is just not satisfied. It is not easy to go through a breakup but all in all, Pain makes you stronger, fear makes you braver, heartbreak makes you wiser. It is always nice to take a step back today, look at all those beautiful things you have. Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable and moreover, the heart was made to be broken."
The good thing about this is that you are not the first and neither are you the last. Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up. Sometimes tears seem like the only way out and sure enough they reduce the pain in our hearts but then, it is not good to cry when the sun is gone because the tears won't let you see the stars.
The fact that you get your heart broken every once in a while, the world doesn't stop for your grief. Life goes on whether you like it or not and time as always stops for no man. Each time you fall, you always have to get up on your feet and walk with your head held high. Love is unconditional. Relationships are not. If at any given point you feel un happy, pack your bags and leave coz to be honest, it`s not worth it.

There is sometimes a precise moment when they "knew the relationship was over," when "everything went dead inside” ‘followed by a transition period in which one partner unconsciously knows the relationship is going to end, but holds on to it for an extended period, even for years. Cheating and lying aren't struggles. They're reasons to break up.

Everyone wants wat`s best for them

Nobody wants a hard relationship. Everyone is looking for an easy peasy lemon squeezy taking it easy like a peasy. Honestly, Pain is inevitable, but suffering on the other hand is optional. It is okay to fight every once in a while but it’s not fair to feel like shit always. Letting go in this case is the best choice for both sides and it sure enough is a win win situation.
Sometimes you need to remind yourself of how great and awesome you are. They will be sorry they lost you, so it’s nice to stop worrying too much of what others will think and say about you but rather do your best to forget the past, forget the pain and remember what an incredible person you are.
When moving on from a breakup you have to think of it like the other person is the one who lost otherwise you will have a hard time getting over the break up. You will have to think of yourself as the irreplaceable you because sure enough there is nobody who is like you in the entire universe.
The hardest thing is not talking to someone you used to talk to everyday. Having to delete their phone number when you know it by heart, trying not to text them and call telling them how much you miss the good old days. Trying your best to delete the photos holding the best memories and the good times you both had.

Treating yourself right after a break up

A breakup is a highly stressful, life-changing event. When you’re going through the emotional wringer and dealing with major life changes, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself. The strain and upset of a major breakup can leave you psychologically and physically vulnerable.

Treat yourself like you’re getting over the flu. Get plenty of rest, minimize other sources of stress in your life, and reduce your workload if possible. Learning to take care of yourself can be one of the most valuable lessons you learn following a breakup. As you feel the emotions of your loss and begin learning from your experience, you can resolve to take better care of yourself and make positive choices going forward
Spend time with people who support, value, and energize you. As you consider who to reach out to, choose wisely. Surround yourself with people who are positive and who truly listen to you. It’s important that you feel free to be honest about what you’re going through, without worrying about being judged, criticized, or told what to do.

Making good choices

When you’re going through the stress of a breakup, healthy habits easily fall by the wayside. You might find yourself not eating at all or overeating your favorite junk foods. Exercise might be harder to fit in because of the added pressures at home and sleep might be elusive. But all of the work you are doing to move forward in a positive way will be pointless if you don’t make long-term healthy lifestyle choices.
Sometimes we just get tired of fighting and for once in our lives want to be fought for coz to be honest we are all worth something. The toughest part of letting go is realizing the other person already did. Sometimes you just have to accept the fact that some people only enter your life as a temporary happiness and that an ending is followed by a new beginning.

Sometimes you just feel so much that you begin to feel nothing at all. Love is blind. Sometimes your partner can put you through hell and still see no fault in that and call it love. You slowly feel yourself fading from their mind but still hold on. A time reaches when their names don`t make you smile anymore. It is good to Let it hurt. Let it bleed. Let it heal. And let it go. The only thing you are left doing is committing yourself to bettering you.
It can be difficult to see it when you’re going through a painful breakup, but in times of emotional crisis, there are opportunities to grow and learn. You may be feeling nothing but emptiness and sadness in your life right now, but that doesn’t mean that things will never change. Try to consider this period in your life a time-out, a time for sowing the seeds for new growth. You can emerge from this experience knowing yourself better and feeling stronger and wiser.

Getting to understand and learn from the breakup

In order to fully accept a breakup and move on, you need to understand what happened and acknowledge the part you played. The more you understand how the choices you made affected the relationship, the better you’ll be able to learn from your mistakes—and avoid repeating them in the future.

Some questions to ask yourself:
Step back and look at the big picture. How did you contribute to the problems of the relationship?
Do you tend to repeat the same mistakes or choose the wrong person in relationship after relationship?
Think about how you react to stress and deal with conflict and insecurities. Could you act in a more constructive way?
Consider whether or not you accept other people the way they are, not the way they could or “should” be.
Examine your negative feelings as a starting point for change. Are you in control of your feelings, or are they in control of you?
You’ll need to be honest with yourself during this part of the healing process. Try not to dwell on who is to blame or beat yourself up over your mistakes. As you look back on the relationship, you have an opportunity to learn more about yourself, how you relate to others, and the problems you need to work on. If you are able to objectively examine your own choices and behavior, including the reasons why you chose your former partner, you’ll be able to see where you went wrong and make better choices next time.

Aria Hale

Article writing and rewriting


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